The Hardest Word to Say is Goodbye
by loueylouey14
Summary: Sequel to Beginning Our Life and Never Forgotten Past. Follow the Hudson-Hummel-Puckermans as they deal with the death of Finn.
1. Numb

**_The Hardest Word to Say is Goodbye_**

**_Sequel to Never Forgotten Past and Beginning Our Life. This story deals with the loss of Finn and how it affects the characters in the story._**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any songs that I may put in here.**

_Numb_

**Puck's Point of View**

Nate stared up at me as I halfheartedly changed his diaper. I was just going through the motions like I have been the past couple days. I was in a rut, but at least I was moving. Sarah's been glued to the bed in silence since I brought her home on Tuesday.

There was nothing I could do. At this point, I was afraid her voice was going to be shot. Blaine's told me to let her grieve. Kurt's making occasional appearances, but the farthest he's gotten was making her cry even harder than usual. Ms. Carole won't leave her room either. Grace has been hanging onto me like a monkey. Burt seems to be in permanent shock.

Nate and Sammie are the only ones who don't understand what's happened. They don't know that we've all lost someone we love. They don't know that their uncle and brother are never going to hold them again. I don't know if they even remember him.

~~~~~GLEE~~~~~

_I pulled in behind the school. Kids were racing each other out the doors and even out of the parking lot in their cars. Why would they speed? They could hit someone. Or get in an accident. Or worse._

_I took several quick breaths before stopping the truck and slowly climbing down. I rubbed my eyes and walked inside._

_Ignoring the strange looks from passing students, I walked straight to the choir room. I paused outside the door and smiled slightly at the sight. Everyone inside was jumping around and singing completely off pitch, but they were happy. They didn't know what I knew. They didn't know that one of their own was gone._

_I knocked softly on the door before walking in. Sarah's face lit up and she ran at me, jumping in my arms._

_"Hey!" she smiled before kissing me softly, "What are you doing here?"_

_I cleared my throat, "Uh, well, I'd like to talk to you in private."_

_Sarah's smile faded, "What's wrong? Is Nate sick? Is he hurt? Did Burt have a heart attack?"_

_At this, Blaine stepped forward, "Is it Kurt?"_

_"I-" the words got stuck in my throat. I swallowed hard and shook my head._

_"Noah," Mr. Schue said slowly, "What's going on?"_

_"Finn," I choked out. I looked Sarah in the eyes and took a shaky breath, "He's gone."_

_The room was so silent. If someone dropped a pin, you'd be able to hear it._

_Sarah's eyes glazed over and I could feel her heart stop._

_"What the hell does that mean?" Ryder asked._

_I blinked, "It...it means he was in an accident."_

_"Shut up," Kitty snapped, "You're just making up crap."_

_"No," Mr. Schue breathed, "He's really telling the truth."_

_I reluctantly nodded._

_A single tear fell down Sarah's cheek, but that was the only movement she made. She knew I was telling the truth. I'd never lie to her...at least, I'd never lie about something like this._

_Blaine lowered himself into a chair and took several deep breaths. People slowly started crying as the realization of my words sank in. Mr. Schue gripped the piano to hold himself up._

_We all remained like that for several moments and probably would have continued had Sarah not become dead weight in my arms and fallen to the ground. Jake and I lunged to grab her, but she screamed. I froze. Even when she was in labor, I'd never heard a sound like that come out of her mouth. She curled herself into a ball and screamed bloody murder into her knees._

_The sound shook me to my core. It's something I will never forget. It'll haunt me until my own passing. It never seemed to end. I just stared at her, feeling more hopeless than ever._

_Blaine, realizing I was in shock, crawled towards Sarah and gently took her in his arms despite her protests. We all watched in horror as she thrashed about, clawing at his arms and screaming even louder._

_I dropped to my knees next to them. "No, Sarah," I breathed, "No." I pried her from Blaine and tightened my arms around her. She screamed into my shirt. For the first time today, tears fell from my eyes._

_I wasn't sure why I was crying. Maybe it was because my best friend was never coming home. Maybe it was because now I only had one brother. Maybe it was because there was nothing I could do, nothing, that could stop or even lessen my girlfriend's pain. Maybe it was because a piece of my life, our life, was gone forever and could never be replaced._

~~~~~GLEE~~~~~

I stared at the ceiling. I could hear crying from the living room and in Grace's room. Between the crying and never ending thoughts and memories, it's been hard to get any sleep. I screwed my eyes shut and tried fighting against the sobs outside these walls and inside my head.

I was halfway asleep when a new sound made my eyes snap open. Instinct took over and I pushed myself up to tend to Nate's cries. However, a hand against my chest stopped me.

"Let me," Sarah croaked.

Shocked, I slowly nodded. She crawled over my legs and shakily walked to the nursery. She winced with each step, not really used to walking.

She returned a minute later with Nate held tightly in her arms. She avoided looking at me while getting back in bed. I watched her curl back into the nest of pillows, blankets, and sweatshirts she'd made herself throughout the past couple days. Her finger gently trailed along his nose down to his arms.

"I missed you, bud," she whispered.

I bit my lip and hesitantly squeezed her knee.

She flinched at the contact, but continued staring at our son. His cries stopped and he seemed to lean into her touch. He had missed her too. We all did.

~~~~~GLEE~~~~~

**A/N: Hi! So like this said at the beginning, this is the sequel to ****_Never Forgotten Past_**** and ****_Beginning Our Life_****; however, this one will be different, this will revolve around Finn's death and it's effect on the characters. If you have any questions regarding the story or characters or even requests for chapters, PM me or review! I love hearing from my readers!**

~~~~~GLEE~~~~~

**_Sneak Peak: "Are you gonna sing?" "No." "Why?" "What's the point? He can't hear it. It'll be a waste of my voice." "Your voice is beautiful and will never be a waste." "My brother's dead. Your point's invalid."_**


	2. My Brother

**_The Hardest Word to Say is Goodbye_**

**_Sequel to Never Forgotten Past and Beginning Our Life. This story deals with the loss of Finn and how it affects the characters in the story._**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any songs that I may put in here.**

_My Brother_

**Sarah's Point of View**

We sat around the living room in silence. Puck was staring at me from where he was sitting with Nate and Grace on his lap. Kurt's hand tightened around mine and I shuddered at his icy touch.

Burt cleared his throat, "I think we all know that it's time to discuss what's next."

Mom fought back tears and nodded, "We need to plan Finn's funeral."

My jaw clenched and I stared at my lap. In my head, I knew Finn was gone, but my heart refused to believe it. I couldn't fight past the denial. It was too strong. It was too real.

"What's there to plan?" Kurt asked.

Burt shrugged, "Does anyone want to say anything?"

"I wrote a poem," Grace stated.

Mom smiled at her, "And I'm sure it's beautiful. I'd love for you to say it."

"I um, I don't know if I want to talk," Puck mumbled, "But maybe Mr. Schue would want to."

Burt nodded, "Ok, thank you."

Kurt nudged my arm and whispered, "Are you gonna sing?"

I didn't even hesitate, "No."

Puck looked over, "Why?"

"What's the point? He can't hear it. It'll be a waste of my voice," I shrunk down into the cushions.

Kurt's eyes widened, "Your voice is beautiful and will never be a waste."

"My brother's dead. Your point's invalid," I snapped.

Tears formed in Kurt's eyes, "He was my brother too, Sarah." He quickly stood and ran to Grace and Sammie's room where he's been staying since his and Finn's room was too painful for him to stay in.

I closed my eyes tightly and pulled my legs up on the couch.

"Really, Sarah?" Burt asked before hurrying out of the room.

I sobbed into my knees, ashamed of what I had done.

Mom came and wrapped her arms around me. "I know it's hard," she whispered, "But we can't take our anger out on each other. We have to stick together." She kissed the top of my head and rubbed my back, "It'll get better."

"I don't want to say goodbye," I cried, "Don't make me do it."

"I know," Mom breathed and I felt her tears on my neck, "I know."

~~~~~GLEE~~~~~

I hesitantly pushed open the younger girls' bedroom door. "Kurt?" I whispered, "Can we talk?"

"Go away," he choked out.

"Kurt, I'm sorry," I said, fighting to make sure my voice didn't crack, "I didn't mean it."

"Then what did you mean?" he snapped, "Because to me it sounded like you don't think Finn meant anything to me, and you couldn't be more wrong."

I wiped my falling tears, "I was angry, I am angry, I don't know half the stuff I say anymore."

Kurt chuckled slightly, "I don't know if anyone knows what they're saying."

I slowly walked to where he was curled up on his mattress shoved in the corner. I sat next to him, "I'm really sorry."

"I know," Kurt said softly.

I scooted closer to him and laid my head on his shoulder.

Kurt held me close and kissed my hair, "We can do this, girly, I'm positive."

I smiled slightly and nodded, "Yeah, we can."

We sat in silence, neither of us speaking or even crying. It was peaceful for the first time in days.

"Kurt?" I sat up slightly.

"Yeah?" he looked at me.

"You're my big brother now," I stated.

Kurt laughed, "I'm pretty sure I have been your big brother for a couple years now."

"Yeah," I laughed, "But it's different now. You're my only brother."

He slowly nodded, "True."

I hugged him tightly, "You're the best."

Kurt chuckled, "Well...you know."

I laughed, "I do."

"Sarah, I'm not you're only brother," Kurt said.

I took a deep breath, "You're my only living brother."

"No, I'm not," Kurt tilted my chin up, "Look." He held up his left hand with the engagement ring firmly planted on his finger. "You have one other brother too."

"Blaine," I smiled slightly.

"Of course," Kurt smiled, "My fiancé definitely counts as your brother."

I hugged him tightly, "How could I forget?"

Kurt laughed softly, "We've all been forgetting a lot of stuff lately."

I sighed, "Yeah."

"But we can't do that, we have to remember all the good stuff not just about our life, but about Finn's as well, ok?" Kurt asked.

I nodded, "Ok."

"Let's also promise not to lose our temper and say things we'll regret," Kurt stated.

"Promise," I sniffled and wiped my eyes.

"Sarah, everything's going to be ok, I promise you," Kurt gently wiped my tears, "We're going to properly honor Finn at his funeral with all our friends and family. I'm going to be one the only brothers you have, but I swear to you, I will not replace your real brother."

I nodded, "I know." I took a deep breath, "It'll be perfect."

~~~~~GLEE~~~~~

"How're you feeling?"

I shrugged and rolled closer to Puck's side.

He wrapped his arm around me, "I'm glad you and Kurt worked it out."

I nodded, "Definitely. He means so much to me, especially now."

"Sarah, just remember, we're all grieving," Puck looked in my eyes, "Yes, it might be for different reasons, but only because Finn was someone different to all of us, even though we all loved him and loved all of us."

I tightened my grip on his shirt, "I know."

Puck rubbed my back and kissed my head, "I love you."

"I love you too," I whispered.

~~~~~GLEE~~~~~

**A/N: Thanks for the responses to the story! I'm glad you like it!**

~~~~~GLEE~~~~~

_Alex B. Goode - Thank you! I'll try!_

_dance-sing-live - Thank you! I'm glad to be writing again too! :)_

~~~~~GLEE~~~~~

**_Sneak Peak: "A pact?" "Yeah, you know, like a contract or the Constitution." "Ok, so what are we...agreeing to?" "To watch each other's girlfriends, or fiancé, whatever you call Kurt."_**


	3. The Pact

**_The Hardest Word to Say is Goodbye_**

**_Sequel to Never Forgotten Past and Beginning Our Life. This story deals with the loss of Finn and how it affects the characters in the story._**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any songs that I may put in here.**

_The Pact_

**Puck's Point of View**

Sammie crawled over to me and Nate, "Finn?"

I sighed and shook my head, "No, Sammie, I'm sorry."

Nate kicked his legs, causing Sammie to laugh. I smiled and laid her back next to Nate on the blanket.

"My two favorite babies," I smiled and tickled them.

Kurt sat next to me, "Hey."

"Hi," I looked up, "What's up?"

He shrugged and pulled Sammie on his lap.

I bit my lip, "So um Sarah went back to school today."

"Obviously," Kurt said quietly while stroking Sammie's hair.

"I wonder what she's doing," I leaned back on my hands.

Kurt shrugged, "Probably with Blaine or Marley."

I nodded, "Yeah, probably."

~~~~~GLEE~~~~~

I stared at Blaine from across the table, "We need to make a pact."

Blaine raised his eyebrows, "A pact?"

"Yeah, you know, like a contract or the Constitution," I stated.

He slowly nodded, "Ok, so what are we...agreeing to?"

"To watch each other's girlfriends, or fiancé, whatever you call Kurt," I let out a breath, "Listen, you see Sarah way more than I do during the week and I see Kurt way more than you do. They're both kinda emotional right now, with every right to be, but we need to be looking out for them. Do we have a deal?"

Blaine smirked, "You're asking me to be Sarah's friend and support her?"

I nodded, "And I'll do the same with Kurt."

"Puck," Blaine laughed, "I already have been doing that and I know you've been doing the same for Kurt, he's told me. You don't have to worry that I'm going to leave her in the dust. I won't. Sarah means a lot to me and I'm going to help her through this."

I looked down in embarrassment and slightly nodded. It was kinda dumb.

"Hey," Blaine nudged my leg with his foot, "It's ok. You care about them both and you're just making sure they're taken care of. I promise it'll be ok."

I blew out my breath, "Yeah."

"We can do this," Blaine stated with a smile.

I smiled back, "Exactly."

"But don't forget, you can grieve to," Blaine said gently, "You don't always have to be the strong one. Sarah and Kurt can and will help us as well."

I nodded.

Blaine glanced to the clock, "Actually, I promised to meet Sarah for ice cream."

I laughed, "Ice cream?"

Blaine chuckled, "Yeah. It's good for the heart."

I laughed harder, "Sure it is."

"Would you mind staying with Kurt until I get back?" Blaine asked.

I nodded, "Of course."

"Thanks," Blaine smiled and stood.

I stood as well, "Don't spoil my girlfriend too much."

Blaine laughed, "I wouldn't dare. Take care of my fiancé."

I smiled, "Anytime."

~~~~~GLEE~~~~~

I heard the main door open and turned from Nate's crib to see Kurt standing next to my bed.

I smiled slightly, "Hey."

"Hi," Kurt sat down.

"You ok?" I asked. I grabbed Nate and went to sit next to Kurt. Nate reached for Kurt who quickly took him.

Kurt hugged Nate close and kissed his head, staying silent and content for a minute before breathing, "No."

I nodded, expecting the answer.

"Where's Blaine?" Kurt's voice cracked.

"He's out with Sarah," I said shakily. I've been able to deal with Sarah and Grace crying. Even when Jake teared up, I could handle it. But Kurt was different. I knew he was going to cry, but I had no idea what to do. I had tortured Kurt for years and now he was sitting in front of me with tears in his eyes and I had no clue as to what to say.

Kurt nodded and looked away. A tear fell on Nate's soft hair and Kurt gasped for breath.

I set a hand on his shoulder and squeezed softly.

Kurt let out a strangled gasp, "Wow."

I froze, "What?"

Kurt looked at me, tears falling down his face, "Look at us. Did you expect this would happen our freshman year?"

I blinked back a glare, "No, I did not expect Finn to die when I was a freshman."

"No!" Kurt yelled, causing me to wince, "I meant us! We're friends. Comforting each other in a time of grief! Not the death that happened." He shoved Nate onto my lap and marched from the room.

I sighed and kissed Nate's head. "I screwed that up," I whispered into his hair.

Nate looked up at me and gurgled nonsense.

I smiled slightly, "Thank you, Mr. Silly."

Nate fell against my chest in a fit of laughter.

I chuckled and glanced to the door. My smile fell. I let Blaine down. I had to fix it.

~~~~~GLEE~~~~~

"Try and make him smile," I whispered into Sammie's ear before setting her on the ground and nudging her butt to get her to move.

She half army crawled-half squirmed across the carpet to Kurt. He looked up from his book and chuckled.

"Hey, you," he smiled and lifted her on his lap, "What are you up to?"

She smiled and placed a sloppy kiss on his cheek.

Kurt laughed, "Ew, silly, don't do that!"

I smiled and grabbed a tissue. "Want this?" I held it out to Kurt while walking over.

Kurt drew in a sharp breath and nodded.

I handed the tissue to him and sat at his side.

"Thank you," Kurt wiped off his face.

"I'm sorry," I said softly.

Kurt nodded, "So am I. I shouldn't have stormed out."

"I shouldn't be so dense," I stated.

Kurt laughed, "It's ok."

I smiled and nodded.

Kurt set his chin on Sammie's head, "I can tell you're trying."

I nodded, "I am. I just don't know what to do."

"You can be my friend and listen to me," Kurt said softly, "I'm not expecting you to hug me and hold me when I cry, I'm just expecting you to listen."

"And I will, Kurt, I swear," I promised.

Kurt smiled and nodded, "Thank you."

"Anytime," I smiled back.

~~~~~GLEE~~~~~

**A/N: Does anyone have any suggestions for future chapters?**

~~~~~GLEE~~~~~

_Alex B. Goode - Thanks!_

_dance-sing-live - Thank you so much!_

_finchelthe - Not the next chapter, but the one after, I'm thinking._

~~~~~GLEE~~~~~

**_Sneak Peak: "I yelled at Kurt." "I know." "Are you mad?" "Of course not." "It just really, really hurts."_**


End file.
